The Definition of Healing

Have any of you esteemed readers out there learned to call on your insiders for help?  I mean, for me they come and take over when my distress is too  high or some other emotion is becoming intolerable.  But I’d really like to learn how to stay more present in these situations.  That’s the goal really.  To stop with the lost time already!  It gets pretty scary sometimes when you realize you’re miles away from your home and you don’t remember the trip.

I want to have that feeling of continuity that others seem to have.  I look back at my life and if I see everything clearly enough it’s like a patchwork with missing pieces.  There is not a complete work of art.  I wonder what it looks like for the insiders.  Do they see the complete picture?  Is theirs even more sparse and skewed than mine?  I suppose it would be for those that only have a very specific purpose, a specific job.  But i wonder how many have the ability to be co-conscious, and if being co-conscious ultimately means having the full picture.

Then I start to really think about what I’m asking for.  The whole picture.  This picture is going to have some pretty ugly parts.  some parts that are gruesome and hurt to look at.  But at this point in time, I think I would rather see the whole, ugly gruesome thing than to have all of these empty spaces.

For those of you that have recovered the pieces have you found it to be a better way of being?  I know that it’s an arduous process and so painful to finally realize the full scope of the harm that has befallen us, but is it better?  If it isn’t than what really is the point?  What is the goal?  What does healing mean?

Do you have a definition of what being healed means for you?

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6 thoughts on “The Definition of Healing

  1. Hi. I’ve just started learning (and feeling comfortable enough) to call on parts for help. My therapist probably suggested this 3 or 4 times before I finally understood that it was an option that was actually available to me. The best example I can think of for me was when I was going to a gyn appointment. I knew which part was most likely to get freaked out about it and which part had the strength (and devil-may-care attitude) to get me through it. So in the days before the appointment, I communicated with my system about it – made sure they all knew what was gonna happen and that I considered it a necessary, albeit unpleasant, thing to do. The morning of the procedure, I called on the part that could help me get through it – and she did! I definitely felt her presence during the appointment, but I remained present throughout the whole thing.

    Re: “I know that it’s an arduous process and so painful to finally realize the full scope of the harm that has befallen us, but is it better?”
    I think it is better. But I also think that it is a very slow process – as in your parts/mind/brain/consciousness won’t let you know more than you can handle at any given time. For me, it still is tremendously difficult to know those things the moment my parts let me have them…and maybe that difficulty continues for minutes, hours, days, or even weeks. But in the long term, I can see that I am becoming more integrated, which for me means being able to experience a full range of emotions. And life is so much better with that ability – it is more colorful and more interesting. I can interact with people and the world in a way I hadn’t been able to before.

    1. Funny how someone can suggest something to us that doesn’t sink in until we are ready to let it. That’s great that you can call on your insiders. I’m hoping to reach that point of communication as well.
      And thank you for sharing your experience about memories being revealed and the after effects. It’s good to know that mayvbe when this does start happening for me again I will be prepared for it. Knowing that you only receive what you can handle is solace in some way. Not that every experience is universal, but I have heard others say this as well. Good luck on your continued journey.

  2. Hmmm… is being grounded and present more of the time better? It is, sort of. It means I’m more functional in my life, I can do more and cope better. It takes so much hard work though. Working lots on communication with everyone… and even now, when I’m overly stressed I do lose chunks of time. Thankfully no one is doing anything destructive or life changing, but even so.

    There have been a few times where I’ve asked specific alters to take over for x amount of time. Just because I know I’m not coping and need to be inside and have a break. That’s rare though. Normally our system doesn’t work so well. Normally I can’t control the switching at all.

    As for recovering the pieces and feeling worse – yeah, it feels worse. But once you adjust and accept and move on a little it hurts less. In saying that “recovery” or treatment or being well doesn’t mean dealing with all the memories. I am not on a memory treasure hunt. I deal with whatever comes up but don’t go looking for it.

    1. Thanks for your input. I like to hear from people who are at differents stages of therapy and healing. It gives me food for thought. I guess you’re right about the not digging for memories and just dealing with what comes up sounds like a solid plan. I wish you well.

  3. I like your new little “you” for your pictures. Looks like fun to play with. I’m afraid I’m probably not the right person to be replying to this post as I am just starting my healing journey as well, but I’d like to know also. What does healing mean? I’ve recovered some pieces now and I have to say no, it’s not better. At least not for me, so far. Healing is not about recovering the pieces I don’t think, it’s about what happens when you recover those pieces. What do you do with them? Where do you put them? How do you work with them? How do you even know how? Sorry for being so negative about this… I just don’t know right now if what I’m actually doing is healing or just making things worse…. :/ It is hard. Good questions.. I’m with ya on that.
    IP

    1. Thanks for responding IP. I know it can feel like things are getting worse, but I think it holds true that it has to get worse befroe it gets better. It’s a tough trek to make for sure. I don’t feel like you’re being negative, just telling your experience as it is. I find that very valuable. Thanks. 🙂

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